How to Deal With Failure – Lauren Briar

How to Deal With Failure and Free Yourself of These Feelings.

So, you’ve just auditioned for that new acting job, or perhaps you submitted your entire modeling portfolio to a real prestigious talent agency or heck, maybe even interviewed for that cool job you wanted for the summer. You feel a sense of pride, only because it took so long to get all these plans in motion. Only to find that all in which, run in vain.

That acting job…Never calls back. That talent agency…Never responds to your email. And that cool summer job… Hired someone else. Your crushed, devastated and ultimately feel like all your time and efforts meant absolutely nothing. However, you my friend… are wrong.

 Henry Ford once said, “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently!” And for those of you who don’t know who he is, Henry Ford was the brilliant creator behind Ford Automotives and little did he know, it would take over 5 years of failure to create America’s first Model T, Automobile. Failure happens to everyone. None of us are exempt from it. It comes and goes in waves, some stronger than others. it never feels good and can be downright discouraging at times. But remember this, the only true failure in life, is the one who refuses to try again.

I admit, the past three months have not been great for me. For one, I thought that by this point in time I would be published in multiple magazines, articles and perhaps even interview with “The NY Post”. After all, I was working with  two separate PR companies and both promised the world. Next, I thought I would have a published Wikipedia page, after all; I was on a TV show, was in Maxim magazine and even had some radio interviews out. Lastly, I thought I was going to team up with some new artists for some song collaborations. After all… they said they liked my music and the studio time was paid for as well. Well, all of these plans flopped. Both PR companies put out no publications. Wikipedia rejected my page then messaged my Upwork Wiki Creator and said I was “not notable enough” to have my page approved and as for the music collaborations? One person never responded back to me despite me paying 160$ in studio time to work on their song. The other artist… well she blocked me from all platforms… I still have yet, to find out why. If that wasn’t bad enough, I also had 9 friends leave my inner circle this month. And four days ago, I woke up to a text from one of my best friends of eight years, saying “I just can’t support you anymore and what your doing”. Meaning, they no longer wanted to talk to me because of my modeling career. I was devastated and moreover hurting… in so many different directions.

I will tell you though, despite the pain of loss, failure and rejection… I will carry on. Why? Because right now, as I write this article, I’m living, I’m breathing and ultimately have the power to try again. An interesting thought crossed my mind the other day, that made me to think critically about these hard times. Here was the thought. Your in your dying moments and an angel walks up to you and tells you. Do you want to live? Out of breath and gasping for air, you frantically answer “YES!”  The angel then goes on to say “Ok, but if you want to live… you must be sent back to one of the hardest times in your life” (besides that one of course)! What do you answer? For me, the hardest year of my life was 2012. I was working 3 Jobs. Dated a man who was no good for me and was evicted from two different apartments, all in the course of a year. But even then, in my dying moments, I would take back those terrible times…. just to live again! You having the mortal life you do… ultimately have more power than you think. Think about it. If things don’t work out, you can always try again or perhaps try something new. The dead unfortunately do not have that option. We the living, may not always have the power to do everything but we do have the power to  at least do something, no matter how small… about our situations.

For example, If your in horrible debt, call a debt consulting company tomorrow and start making moves to get out of it. Or maybe, you’re feeling stuck and fear you have not reached your goals in the time you wanted. Well, Keep going! Why? Because if your still breathing there is still time to achieve! Or perhaps, maybe your in desperate need of money ASAP. If this is the case… start selling the things in your home and register with UBER or Lyft so you can get that cash flow ,back into your bank account. Lastly, perhaps your not booking acting or modeling jobs regularly. In this case, I would suggest you take an acting class or maybe even a class on how to audition because maybe it’s something you are doing in the auditions that could be improved with a class . As for modeling jobs, start mass emailing clothing companies or companies on Instagram and say you are an influencer looking to collaborate with a company and promote their name and products in exchange for a paid post. I do it all the time. You can to. Companies are always hungry for more advertisers. 

Also remember, Whenever things go wrong in your life and your feeling down, be kind to yourself first. Go for a hike, drink a few bottles of water. Water and exercise are great endorphin boosters. Also eat very healthy. Lots of green colorful veggies added to your diet will make you feel good physically. It’s been scientifically proven that veggies boost the mood as well. Next get some sleep so you can be well rested enough to plan out your next moves.

Anyway, whatever you are going through right now remember to ask yourself, “In your dying moments, would you be more than willing to take today back?” I think the answer is very clear. So get back out there! Dust yourself off. Start from ground zero, switch things up, keep pushing out work and keep up the good fight.

Peace, Love and Many Blessings!

Sincerely,

Lauren B.